Brain Damage

My life without job is so hectic now....
hectic with all those scholarship application....
juz dun understand y scholarships requires u to write an essay...
since they r interviewing us...they should ask those essay question during our interview....

i wasted 2 days to complete 1 essay for the Securities Commission Scholarship....
n i still feel tat i haven produce an impressive essay....
an essay tat will make those company believe in me
convincing......and will giv me the scholarship...
i'm in a long way ahead to produce tat...

asked sum opinions from others...
sum say gud....
sum say 2 brat....
sum say since i knw u so well liao then terus HAHAHA...SURE BOH???
sum say itz normal...band 5 english should not b like tat...
so in conclusion....
NOT GUD ENUF!!!!!

should i rewrite the essay???
haiz....
reali suffering from brain damage since so long i din study liao.....